Looking Ahead

Today may be Mother's Day but I am all ready trying to look ahead to the next holiday...Father's Day.

Today I thought I would make a few cards that could be given to men.  Two of which I thought were best suited for Father's Day.

I used the CR84FN colors to inspire me....and what great colors they were....mint, blue and neutral.  Oh, this was perfect for a mans card.

Also featured on today's cards are my favorite paper line EVER!  I am  on my third pack of 180 sheets and I guess this will be the final package that I get as I have not found it anywhere in more than a year.  Bohemia by My Mind's Eye.


Products also featured:
Tim Holtz Distress Inks in Walnut Stain and Evergreen Bough
K&Co made the hot air balloon (so very cute)
Graphic 45 made all the early Hollywood inspired tags (what a great line that is too)
Hour glass by Bo Bunny
Gears by Tim Holtz
Embossed tag and scalloped cirle by my lovely Big Kick
Edges on the cards (that are die cut) by Creative Memories
All patterned paper by MME
Kraft cardstock from the open stock shelves at Hobby Lobby
Bingo number by Maya Road
Ribbon from Hobby Lobby
Letter stamps by the Miss Elizabeth's at the Dollar Tree
Dad rub ons from a kit I got at CKC, and it was a CK one

Today...utter sorrow clouded by utter joy

Today is one of those very tough days for me...let me tell you a story.

January 2001, we were living in Little Rock, Arkansas.  I get a phone call very late at night that my dear father-in-law was ill.  I go to the TV station and get John and we make the most miserable trip to KY we had ever made.  John made the 5.5-hour drive in a record 3 hours!!!

On the way there he says "this is not going to work, I can't lose one of my parents and be this far away from them".  So literally the next week when we returned to our home in Little Rock, John began searching for a new job closer to home.  It was not long later that a job (and a big pay cut later)..... we were packing up the family and moving too little and I do mean LITTLE Paducah, KY.

For the next eleven years, we enjoyed their company, have taken care of them, many trips to Mayfield, many trips to doctors, and many vacations cut short, while we have cared for them.

Today is just one of those days that I miss him.  I have talked to him almost daily since 2001.  I saw him almost every weekend.  I missed the money that we once made in Little Rock, I missed being a stay at home mom (as I could be in LR and could NOT in KY); but it was worth it to be with him.

I am not handling things as he would want them done today and I hate that.  I feel that he would be let down. I am praying and trying.  It's not happening.  I am just trying to focus on the fact that he is now pain-free.  That he is rejoicing in his heavenly reward.

the last photos taken of Henry when he was not in the hospital.  He did not feel well  this day.  It was the second to the last time he was in my house.  The last time was February 4, 2012.  I sat with him while John and his mom went to Ft Campbell. 

Death is sad for the living and today is just one of those sad days and now that I have depressed you. I am sorry, I promise to fix that....come back.

Slow down, you're moving way to fast...

I remember as a child I would think things like "when I grow up" and "I am going to do ______ when I am grown". These are statements that ALL of us made as children.

It happened, we did grow up. Many of us now have children. Those precious little babies that screamed all night long with colic. Those little babies that used to think we rocked the world. Those little babies that would desire nothing but for us to feed, hold and love on them.

They too are growing up. They now sleep through the night (thank goodness) and sleep like rocks. As a matter of fact, they are old enough now to put themselves to bed!!! Those little babies have now seen some of the world and realize "yeah my parents aren't as cool as they used to be" or "my parents are stupid". And don't even think about hugging or kissing them where ANYONE might see them. That would be the worst thing you could do.

Time "fixes" everything. I look at my children and things they say are the SAME things that I said and I am certain that my parents probably said the same thing when they were young. My children are 14 and 9. Not too old no, but they are growing up so fast.

I was thinking the other day about our little two bedroom apartment with that long hallway in Little Rock, Arkansas. Hannah walked down that hallway as a very tiny child. She logged about one million jumps on the Johnny Jumper in that hallway. She would squeal with delight when I would say "tomorrow I am taking you to the library". That was almost 14 years ago.

With Trevor, I remember him being so sick as an infant. So sick we weren't sure he would ever come home. Then he did and he screamed all the time. All the time! Did I mention ALL THE TIME? One of his first words was "ball" and those massively long blonde curls that he had.

The sweet times are gone. Now, she is a teenager, who hates that I am even typing these words. He is a boy that can just go outside for ten minutes and come in smelling like he hasn't had a bath in two weeks.

They no longer need me to pick out their clothes, make all their meals, to entertain them. But kids, listen up. You are not done with me! Who do you want when your tooth hurts? When you are throwing up? When you want to play catch? When you need new pants, purses, shoes? When you need MONEY???? That's right your mom and dad.

It's a cycle that hasn't ended...parents have kids, kids grow up, kids become parents....round and round it goes.

Forever and ever

Well, my parents anniversary is coming up (as I write this---as you read it, it is past). I decided a long time ago that I wanted to do something special for them. How many people do you know that make it 40 years? How many make it 40 years and still like each other, much less love each other?

Yes, to celebrate is no brainier. The thing is how to do it, how to make it special, how to make it not cost a fortune?

That is where I sit this day. I am trying to find someplace that is not too expensive, better yet free. I am trying to plan things that are "easyish" to make/do (this is a time problem).

My first step was to decide what I wanted. A meal at a restaurant or reception? The reception was my answer. A meal or reception food? reception food....Wait!!! Reception food. I want to have a wedding type of thing. I want them to proclaim their love for everyone. Being from poorish sort of families they never had a "proper" wedding. I want to give them that. If not a preacher ceremony, a re-dedication ceremony. With a proper reception.

The first stop was coloring (for me because I want to make the stuff).  I found a pad of paper at Hobby Lobby that very much fit my mothers' style.  Very country styled patterns, with blues, maroons, yellows, greens, and browns.  I think it was a delight.

 

The next part was to make the stuff. I got lucky and had a Cricut cartridge that made boxes.  I used 2 Cricut mats and about 70 sheets of cardstock, but I got all the favor boxes, all the centerpieces, and 2 journal type books done.  

I started work in January.  Yes, it takes quite some time to do all this.  I worked on it every Saturday until June 18, when it all was put together into the reception.

Now the reception was a bit of perfectness.  We had people attend that they had no idea about.  My dad did make me crazy the last week or so panicking about who was invited and who was not, but this is a time when he needs to learn TRUST.  It was lovely.  If you were invited and did not come, why then you missed out.

I think it turned out to be a great time.  Their song redeclaring their love for one another was just about the sweetest thing ever. 

Hannah is FOURTEEN!!!!

Happy Birthday Hannah....

Fourteen years ago, we were blessed with a very LARGE 9 lbs 15 oz baby named Hannah. A baby that liked to puke all over the place. A baby that was a good sleeper as long as she was in the swing. A baby that created (and still does) lots of drama. Our dear little Hannah!!!! We love her so. Happy Birthday sweetie

In the Ring

I don't know the terms, don't pretend to understand what is happening...I just know that on Monday and Friday nights my house becomes a Wrestlemania ring. I have a son that not only watches the matches but creates his own during the show. They don't miss an episode. I am telling you it has gotten so bad that even I can recognize a couple of the wrestlers. Not only that I can quote the tag line of a couple of the wrestlers. This is not good!!! I still hate to watch it, but it is slowly imprinting on my brain. Quite like Harry Potter craving "I will not tell lies" into his hand.

This week my son spent his hard earned cash on wrestling figures. And they were used ones...what is this coming too? He sports shirts. plays with the action figures and the last thing is that poor little spidey. Spidey is about 12 years old (having been Tyler's before he came to Trevor) and he WAS in good shape when he came to live with us in 2007. For a while spidey sat on the bed, unattended, then one day....off the bed he flew...He was being body slammed into the floor by a small boy. The boy was shouting "I pinned you". Life for spidey changed a lot. He was soon to be the victim of all the neighborhood boys. They took turns wrestling poor little Spiderman. One day, Spidey had to go to the hospital to have his sides sewn up. Since then he has had a foot worked on and a neck. He is doing well as of today. Actually, for a couple of days, he has been left alone. A John Cena action figure has entered the house and new matches are going down.

I never dreamed my son would be a wrestler, not only that he does bodily harm to defenseless spidermen. One day spidey will get fed up and choke slam (is that a term?) Trevor onto the floor...until then have needle will travel.

Happy 9th Birthday Trevor!!!!!!!!At the LO ball fields

Dressing up for Flood (his 1st grade teacher)

Shh don't tell Hannah he has her dolls

first haircut

Not happy about dressing up for school

Lord Vadar

A good dream!!!

Eye patch

School mug shot!!!

love this one

Happy Birthday!!!! first photo EVER!!!!

Hospital photo 2nd photo

Big boy chair

Day two

9 years ago today, our baby boy Trevor was born...3:41 am weighing in at 6lb 7 oz (he was early and tiny)

up up and AWAY

Today we completed another season of Upward ball with Lone Oak First Baptist Church. I must say those guys/gals do a great job over there. I know it cannot be easy working with all those kids, it is time-consuming and kids are messy. But they get it done, they are friendly and they are patient.

I like the Upward program because it teaches kids the basics of the game, how to be fair, to be nice to people, and gives them memory verses too! The best part to me though is that the coaches find something positive to say about each and every child (at the end of the game while passing out the reward stars). Those coaches seek out something good in every player, every play, and every "mistake".

Well done LOFBC!!!!!

Strange things are happening

To borrow a line from the great movie Toy Story, this is my life today. We are closing a chapter. A chapter that has been a part of life for so long, I am not sure how to do things without it. It is hard to change course when you have done something for so long. For seven years Trevor has been dealing with his eye issues. It started when he was little and he was watching tv and John noticed his eye floating all over the place. We go to an eye doctor in Paducah and they say that they cannot help us and send us to a specialist in Carp Girardeau, MO who scares us to death by telling us that he will go blind in that eye if he does not have surgery. She even schedules it for the next week. We can't do that with a $2500 deductible...NO WAY....I start seeking options. I mention at church for them to pray for us because we did not know what we were going to do. A member is with the Lion's Club and he says that they may help us. My friend Rhonda told me this was a great avenue to pursue so off we go. This guys name is Tom and he said we had lots of options, the first being to go see their doctor in Louisville, KY at the Lions Club Eye Clinic. They would even sponsor Trevor to help out with the cost, because our insurance was so bad. So off we go....when we first met Dr. Paul Rychwalski, I thought, he is so young. I had done research on him and supposedly he is VERY good, but I expected him to be older. All he does is deal with people with children and their eye disabilities and diseases. It was a very comforting environment. It did not take Dr. Paul and his assistant long to determine that Trevor had a binocular vision disability and Amblyopia strabismus (lazy eye and misalignment). He would never be cured and would need therapy. I asked about the blindness and surgery and he said "Trevor is not a candidate for surgery because of what he is facing...not at this time" He immediately put us on a harsh (yes harsh) therapy of eye patching. Eye patching is a nightmare to parents. The child does NOT want to wear the patch, doesn't understand why they have to wear the patch and because you are patching the good eye, there is NO depth perception and the vision is whacked up. Who wants to go through that? Especially for 6 hours per day? WOW!!! We did it though (thanks to the preschool teachers who helped us out on this), and returned after 6 weeks, with good progress. It was GREAT progress actually, Dr. Rychwalski was proud of Trevor and said he could tell we were patching. He prescribed more patching.....

Our life over the next few years has been full of patching and an eye drops...Atropine. It was a scary thing to do because I have heard that it can damage the good eye. Also, it allows more sunlight to enter the eye so that it can cause cataracts and other vision issues. You are putting a chemical in the good eye to blur it so the bad eye has to do the focusing. I actually hated the atropine, but Trevor tended to prefer it. Mainly, because his friends had NO idea that there was "something wrong with him". We have had to be very careful with the atropine because we go to theme parks a lot, he plays outside sports and he is a boy and they like the outdoors. I still don't know when we will be able to tell if he has damage because of the sun.

Trevor has gone to the eye doctor every 6 weeks or so for almost 7 years. Because we knew he would never be cured, that we were just getting him to the best that we could get him, our goal was set kind of low....20/50 with visual aids. That means he can read the 20/50 line with the glasses on his face. It has been a back and forth emotional journey....20/70 at the worst and 20/30 at the best. Dr Rychwalski had been so pleased with his results and our determination to help Trevor the best that we could, he let us start seeing a local doctor in 2005. Dr Jeff Taylor. He has been a little bit of wonderful for us as well. He has taken Trevor's goal on as his own. When Trevor was not doing well, he too would get upset about it. When Trevor did well, he was just as excited as we were. I have recommended him to everyone that I know looking for an ophthalmologist because he is so wonderful. He has taken Trevor's concerns to heart as if Trevor were an adult, and this speaks volumes to me. He has been wonderful with my little boy.

Dr Taylor said it was coming, he has warned us for a long time...around the age of 8 Trevor's eye would stop growing and there would be nothing else that we could do. Here we are, age 8 and Dr. Taylor wanted him so badly (right on with us) to read that 20/30 line (that was sort of a secret goal)....Trevor could not do it. We went to the dr last Friday and he said "stop using the drops." This is it the end...20/50 is the best Trevor is going to do. Yes, it is the goal, he will be able to drive a car, it is just bittersweet. There is nothing else we can do to make it better. Trevor really knows no life outside of eye therapy. It is going to be strange all his life we had to put the patch on or drop the drops.

Let me explain his life...He has had to cover up an eye that sees perfectly. Therefore, his vision has been a constant blurry out of alignment mess for almost 7 years. He has never seen a baseball coming at him as his teammates have, he has never read a book like other people, he has never watched tv where he didn't angle his head to be able to see better. I am so proud of the things he has accomplished under these circumstances, he is a great student, he is a very good baseball player (when his bad eye will work like it is supposed to), he is not afraid to try new things, and doesn't know the meaning of "I can't see so I won't do it". He gets out there and tries and most times, he succeeds.

Now that we are at the end, we have to make sure that we have not damaged that good eye. That poor eye has been through a lot over the last 7 years as well. It has had to turn itself off, be covered up and blurred so it could not see a thing. Have we damaged it under all this therapy? Actually that is a possibility. We have finished with all therapy! A hard concept for me to grasp. Trevor is having no issues there. Now we go back in 4 weeks to see if the good eye is ok. To make sure there is no damage. Are we finished going to the eye doctor all the time? We don't know yet. Is this eye going to be ok? We don't know yet. Will he ever need eye surgery on the bad eye? We don't know yet. But I will tell you, it will be nice to not have to go to the eye doctor every other month, it will be nice not to have to use eye drops, it will be nice not to have to put on an eye patch, it will be very nice to see how he hits a baseball using NO therapy. I think I look forward to that...yes I know I do. Now that the good eye will be able to use the depth perception that it has...he may really have a great season.

Trevor has been great through all of this. Yes, he has screamed and cried and ran away from me because I had to do stuff to his eyes, but gosh Trevor it's over. I am proud of you for being such a good boy at the eye doctor all these years, I shall miss playing eye spy with you while we wait for Dr. Taylor. I shall miss playing jeopardy with you in the waiting room. I shall miss buying you a hamburger because you have been such a good boy. I shall miss the nurse saying "why do you never want a sucker?" to you. But I am glad that you will be able to drive a car one day and your mama won't have to drive you and your girlfriend on dates. Yes, that part makes me happy. I don't want to be toting you around when you are 50, I am glad that you will be able to drive and you can tote me around.

Thanks to the doctors who have helped us over the years...Especially to Dr Paul Rychwalski, who was willing to try hard to make my babies life better without putting him under the knife. Thank you for all that you and Dr Taylor have done for my little boy.

Grounded

You have all read (hopefully) about Trevor being grounded. I am telling you this child just must play...it doesn't matter when, how, or with what; he has to play. So he was grounded from certain toys and his friend, so he just had to be creative and think, "what can I play with that mom won't get mad?"

I keep my morning "get ready" stuff in the living room, make-up, curling irons; and also in there is my sewing basket that holds whatever I am sewing at that time. They are in 2 baskets that sit on the side of the recliner. My son got into a 1 foot space between the wall and the recliner and began to play with the curling iron and the flat iron. The 2 irons were fighting with each other and making these great gun sounds. And of course he threw in the typical "sword fighting" techniques that one usually uses when one plays swords.

When I asked him,"why do you want to play with curling irons?" He said, "I am grounded from all the fun things". Enough said!

See ya