This could only happen to me

So I am a creature of habit...every Saturday morning, I get up and go to the bathroom.  There I brush my teeth and comb my hair and put on my clothes.  After that, I walk down the hall (still brushing my teeth) and feed the cat because usually at this point she is begging.  Yesterday however she was not begging and slowly I made my way to the kitchen.  I was finishing up with the brushing of my teeth. I spit in the kitchen sink, tore off a paper towel and placed it on the bar.  I rinsed my toothbrush and placed it on the paper towel.  UH, the kitchen is a mess. I started seeing things that needed to be picked up.  I started with the corner of the bar.  Here there was a jug of Hawaiian punch, 3 tomatoes, a butter dish, and a toy snake.  I reach for the toy snake, all the while getting angry with my son for leaving his toys on my kitchen counter and it MOVES!!! I scream LOUDLY because at this point I realize...this is not Trevor's toy snake...there is a snake in my house.  I run down the hall and throw open the bedroom door. John is at this point sitting up in bed because he heard me scream.  I tell him there is a snake in the kitchen and he runs to the kitchen.  At this point, the snake has left the bar and we can't find it.  Callie is in the utility room looking funny and we figure out that he is in there.  He was around Callie's food bowl. 

We thought about what to do. I went next door to the game cop's house and he was asleep.  So John decided to trap him in one of Hannah's plastic drawers.  Then I pulled the board out from between Trevor's mattresses and John figured out a way to get the board under the drawer.  In the process, he cut part of the snakes tail off and that snake was very angry with him.  Together we picked up the board and the box and placed it into the back of the truck and John got into the truck and I drove to an open field.....there we left that little bugger go.  The End!